Spring 2007, Volume 50, Number 1
"Gift of Relationships"
by Carmen Hernandez, PBVM and Jennifer Rausch, PBVM
On Saturday, February 17, over 300 women religious from 11 communities gathered at Loras College in Dubuque, IA, for a presentation initiated by the Leadership Conference of Women Religious (LCWR), Region X. The goal of the workshop was to help sisters continue and deepen their understanding of healthy relationships.
Dorothy Heiderscheit, OSF, spoke on the topic, “Gift of Relationship: Being Our Best Self.” Sister Dorothy’s presentation focused on a definition of ministry and the meaning of healthy boundaries. “Ministry is about being called to live the Gospel and meeting the needs of those to be served,” she stated.
As Jesus says in Matthew 25: 35-40, “I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink. I was a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me… As long as you did it for the least of my sisters and brothers, you did it for me.” Thus, members of religious communities are in direct relationship with the people of God. Wholesome and right relationships are at the heart of who they are. Sister Dorothy emphasized that the person who stands in a particular relationship of confidence, trust or responsibility maintains a safe connection based on the other person’s needs. Prayer shared during the day reminded conference participants, “As Jesus called disciples by name, gathering them together and sending them on mission, each of us, here and everywhere, is uniquely known and loved, called and sent.”
The discussion of healthy boundaries invited the sisters to reflect on who they are personally and to acknowledge that boundaries are genuinely life-giving rather than life-depriving.
Understanding boundaries is key to understanding how we relate to other people. Sister used three images that were helpful for participants in becoming self-reflective.
1. Rigid boundaries – personal life is characterized by a cold, harsh distance between individuals with an angry, superficial stance toward others.
2. Porous boundaries – personal life is characterized by never thinking of self but trying to be all things to all people and responding to every need.
3. Flexible boundaries – personal life is characterized by a balanced life, which displays a wide spectrum of healthy emotions. This results in an individual having a supportive personal life as well as effective ministerial relationships with others.
Taking Psalm 139 to heart, a sister’s prayer could be: “I am a woman…on a journey through life. I am searching my innermost self to claim who I am as woman. I am searching for you, my God. I am going beyond reflection. I am a woman on an inner search,” by Emily Nabholz, SCN.
The day was of great value as it provided an opportunity for the sisters to renew past friendships and establish new connections through prayer, conversation and learning. As stated by a participant, “There was an energy that filled the room and I’m glad I was there to experience both the wisdom of the speaker and of one another.”
Photo: L to R: Sisters Jennifer Rausch and Elena Hoye enjoy each other’s company.